There are many opportunities for you to bond with your baby in the newborn stage that can set the foundation for your baby’s future health and wellbeing. However, with smartphones being more widespread, it can be challenging to connect with your baby. Mindful practices can help you to be more present in those very precious moments with your baby. Let’s explore a few ways to be mindful with your baby.
the first 1000 days
Research has shown that what happens to a child in the first 1000 days (birth to 2 years) matters. The food they eat, the relationships they form, and their environment will have an impact on their adult life. This is due to the brain growing very quickly during this time.
If you are a busy body (like me), you may find it hard to stop and just BE. I found breastfeeding was hard because it forces you to sit for a good amount of time, several times a day. I would tend to whip out my smartphone and read articles that I needed to “catch up on”.
If you are looking to be more intentional in your time with your newborn and find it difficult to be present. I hear you. There was a lot of noise in my head when our son was born – not to mention the amount of Covid-19 noise! I was dealing with the less physical form of the virus.
Why should i be mindful with my baby?
Spending mindful time with your baby will be one of the best investments you will ever make.
By spending that quality time, they will feel more safe and secure. This will help with those healthy attachment behaviors as they grow up.
As time goes on, you will see how your baby bonds and feels secure with you. And you will see how teaching yourself self-discipline, pays off in so many other ways!
ways to be more mindful with your baby
First things first… if not needed at the time… put your phone away. Unless you are playing beautiful music. Because that’s kind of nice lol.
All these mindful practices can be done during skin-to-skin, feeding, or anytime you are with your baby!
1. Deep Breathing
Sitting with your baby in a feeding situation or skin-to-skin is a great way to practice deep breathing.
Let’s say you’re feeding or cuddling, and you feel that itch for your device. Take a few deep breaths first.
Inhale through your nose. Hold for a moment. And then exhale.
Try to repeat this 5 times during that special time with your baby. Feel you and your baby gradually becoming more relaxed and in tune.
With our second baby, I started practicing deep breathing during his breastfeeds. I found that it made me feel so relaxed and calm at that moment.
Our toddler would also see me practicing deep breathing, and she would give it a try sometimes. She even deep breathes in situations where she becomes distressed! Very cool!
2. Notice your baby
While you are feeding or holding your baby. Think about their little body.
Feel their skin. Smell that lovely new baby smell. Notice the color of their eyes and hair. Feel their little breaths. Count them. Notice them. Count their fingers and toes.
Think about how they might feel at that moment.
They feel safe and secure. They feel close to you, their mom.
3. pan out
While you are sitting (or standing) with your child. Pan out like a movie camera with a birds-eye view of your room.
What does that look like? What a beautiful sight to see a mother with her baby.
4. Give Thanks
In those precious opportunities with your child, take the time to give thanks.
Give thanks for their breathing, for their eating. Give thanks for their safety and for their life.
You can also pray for them and their future. For the adult they will become.
how to greet drifting thoughts
If you find it hard to notice the present moment because you are thinking about other things, here are a few tips you can try.
Say hello to your drifting thought
You’re deep breathing and then all of a sudden you start thinking about an interaction you had with a friend last week. You start to think, “what did they mean by that?” You may recognize that this could lead to a spiral.
Once you become aware that this is a drifting thought. Acknowledge the thought. Say hello if necessary.
These thoughts do happen, it is very common to have drifting thoughts.
Give your drifting thought a place or plan
After you have acknowledged the drifting thought let it do exactly that – drift on. But if necessary give it a place or plan.
For example, if it is making the grocery list, tell yourself “I will do the grocery list after lunch”.
If it is something more negative and distressing you can plan to journal about it later, talk to a trusted loved one, or your therapist about it.
find a focus point to come back to
Once you have said hello and given the drifting thought a place or plan, It helps to have a focus point to come back to.
Try picking something physical to look at like your baby’s nose or eyes. You can also bring yourself back by counting each of their toes or fingers slowly. Or, have a phrase that you always say like, “I am just so thankful for my very beautiful baby”. You can also just bring it back to focus on your breathing or your baby’s breathing.
Give it a try!
I encourage you to be more mindful with your baby through these simple practices that you can incorporate into your day.
Again, if you are busy (like me), just pick one and stick to it. Heck, just try to do the one thing, once a day. With consistency and perseverance, you will find that you will start to do these more often.
As time goes on, you yourself will be more calm, happy, and at peace. This will then increase the co-regulation and quality bonding in your child that will take them far into their adulthood.
Plan for the future
Sometimes I find it helps to make a verbal statement or write a plan when I want to start a new habit. Let’s say you have read this article and you want to start deep breathing during your breastfeeds. You then can say, “I, Maria will try to take 5 deep breaths at the beginning of today’s breastfeeds”. It’s good to make attainable goals that are quantifiable (5 deep breaths), have a time (at the beginning of the feeds), and have a deadline (today’s feeds).
Give it a try.
“I __________________, will try to____________________________________________________________.
Well done super mom. You’re doing great!